I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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