South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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