So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
