problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You can't just leave with hair like that
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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