Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
