she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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