Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
