sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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