I'm lost and stupid without you.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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