do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
