Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
