we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
