32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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