Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
