I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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