well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Randomize
