I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
