My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
