New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
