Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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