you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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