god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I still have a little drunk in my system
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
