Kiss
Puke
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
