eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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