The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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