I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
