I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So much Jack, so little girl.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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