I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
