dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Randomize
