According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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