the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
