We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
