he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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