he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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