the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
