well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
