Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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