who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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