You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
