you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
