Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
