R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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