isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
