At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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