he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and i looked up. we had an audience...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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