She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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