the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
how does that bad decision feel?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
