The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
