I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Randomize
