yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
