I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
