she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
