I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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