Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
