My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
